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Sunday, 14 June 2009

I can feel the air clearing

I'm not sure if I really explained before that for the last six months me and my mother had a lodger living with us. He is my nieces boyfriend and when she fell pregnant he moved out here with no where to live. My sister asked me and my mother if we would put him up for a while, we agreed but for my nieces sake. The arrangement was it would be temporary thing, he would be looking for a job the very next day and the would be looking for place every day and should be out in a few weeks a couple of months at he most. he moved in and the days rolled past but he seemed to not be trying quite as hard as he could, neither of them seemed to be making any effort to get there own place. the days turned in to weeks and still nothing. but it was starting to become a bit of a pain. me and my mother had no space to be our selves, before he moved in I would stay down stairs and talk to my Jenn. I couldn't really do that with him sleeping on the sofa. As I am sure anyone who has been in this situation can imagine it was very restrictive, He is a good kid but I just didn't have any private time for me and Jenn anywhere beyond my own bedroom. It didn't feel fair, If I had that same chance to be with my Jenn I wouldn't waist it away sat there doing nothing, I would be out every minute of a working day looking for a job. I wouldn't care what job I did. I always said and still say now I would clean toilets full of sick and poop with my bear hands, and I would do it with a smile on my face if it ment me been with my Jenn. I will do anything to be with my Jenn. Anyway back to the story, as the weeks rolled by little progress seemed to be made by them. after about 4 months I had to say something to my niece, told her that they needed to get another place fast, the baby wouldn't wait for them to get a place and time was ticking until the baby was born. I told them they needed to get their act together there would not be enough room for them once the baby was born. I Think my words broke through, two weeks after my words, they got a place. So nearly six months after he moved in. they have their own place, I can feel the air clearing. What I mean by that is that it felt like their was no room to breath, no privacy for me and my Jenn. no time to be able to think, no freedom. But now the house is back to normal. I can think again I, I can breath and I can concentrate on the thing that is the most important thing in my life. My beautiful Jenn and getting back to her.

If there is one lesson I can teach any of you from this experience then It would be this.
Be kind and give freely and without want for reward.
but however if you should ever have a lodger that is not a relative or a loved one or a close friend then before you have them move in, place the ground rules and stick to them, and possibly most important of all put a time limit on how long they can stay before they move in. trust me on this

3 comments:

Jennifer said...

I'm glad you feel better. I know how they stressed you out.

Jillien said...

I can imagine how constricting it must have been. I've always been the type to enjoy company but for only small amounts of time. After a couple of hours I'm ready for everyone to return to his or her home.

I understand your feeling of relief!

Morgan said...

I meant to comment on this a loooong time ago. Sorry!
I am so happy for you and your mom. It must have been great to be able to help your niece and her boyfriend, but now that you've done that, it must be so amazing to have your home back to yourselves.