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Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Tell a joke Tuesday


Welcome to TELL A JOKE TUESDAY were you can tell your jokes or funny stories and make the world laugh.
Quick note= until further notice please leave your link in you comment thank you.



Heres my jokes and funny stuff for this week.


Top ten things to do at the shopping mall
10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"

9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair

on the back of your knuckles permed.

8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A Fire Extinguisher or Mace if desired.)

6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

4. Hand a stack of under-pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".

3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.

2. Try trousers on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

1. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."


What do you call a rabbit with flea's?

Bugs bunny



Jesus and the Robber One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" while he rummaged through the desk.

He replied, "Who said that?!"

Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!"

The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was. The parrot replied, "Cornelius."

The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!"

The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!"




There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.

Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.

"You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.

After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.

While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.

Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.

"You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"


Well those are my jokes for this week,
please feel free to join in with tell a joke Tuesday

4 comments:

Bridget said...

Very funny!!! I put a joke on my blog, but have never linked in the comments before, so here's hoping it works!

www.among-the-chaos.blogspot.com

Jennifer said...

The last one was funny. That poor man.

Bella Foxx said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Your jokes are funny.

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

I found a good one for you.

When I was a kid, we used to have a sandbox. Well actually, it was a quicksand box. I was an only child...eventually.