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Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Tell a joke Tuesday

Welcome to TELL A JOKE TUESDAY were you can tell your jokes or funny stories and make the world laugh.

I'm sorry to all that I missed this last week but I'm back now and looking forward to hearing some of your great jokes.

So here are my jokes for this week.

Why do golfers wear two pairs of socks?
in case they get a hole in one

how do monkeys cook their food?
on a Gorilla

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

well there are my jokes for this week I hope you all enjoy.
please feel free to join in
and please feel free to leave a comment.


-stephanie- said...

OH OH! :o)

Jennifer said...

That last one is very funny! Love you, Wayne!!

Ray, Brandi and Our Girls said...

Once again, thanks for the giggle.

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

Oh no! Hahaha!

Bridget said...

Too FUNNY!! My husband thought they were hilarious!

Wayfaring Wanderer said...

Good for a chuckle :)