Here are my jokes for this week
Darth Vader and Luke sky walker are in a epic light saber battle,
they have been fighting for hours against each other.
Every time that their light sabers touch Darth Vader would say to Luke
" I know what you are getting for Christmas"
after about 50 times of this happening Luke says "Hang on a minute why do you keep saying that" and Darth Vader says "I have felt your presents"
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."
Labour Pains A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.
She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.
Well those are my jokes for this week I hope you all like them.
Please feel free to join in with tell a joke Tuesday.
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3 comments:
rolled eyes and chuckled at the first one
laughed and got grossed out at the second one
laughed and said "oops" at the third one.
Great jokes this week.
those last two are funny i didn't get the first one i love you
ah ha ha ha. These are the best ones I've read yet! Loved the first one, I was waiting for some kind of "I am your father" type deal so it took me a second to get it and then laugh. Loved the second and third as well. I need to get busy and get some more jokes for my Tuesdays! I've been slacking.
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